"Find a group of people that challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them and it will change your life." - Amy Poehler
"Yo, we got it going on, got it going on. Don't it feel so good to be us" - Cardi B
"Your vibe attracts your tribe!" You can see this quote on just about every social media platform out there and it is so freaking true. The vibe or energy you are putting out into the world is what will determine the type of tribe or group you attract. If you are putting out crappy energy then you are going to get crappy friends. You know, the "woe is me" group or the "nothing good ever happens to us" gang. You have to let that thinking and those friends go. I have also heard it said that you are a reflection of the sum of the people you hang around. Now take a look at your crew and use that as a mirror. Are you seizing opportunities or complaining about how it's so hard out here for you. Are you reaching your goals or not even setting any? Are you creating opportunities for yourself or are you telling anyone that will listen about how bad your luck is? How you show up in the world everyday, i.e. your vibe is so important to your growth and success. And attached to that are the people you spend most of your time with. Those people are either going to propel you forward, allow you to stay the same, or worse, pull you backward.
Let me tell you why it is important to upgrade your vibe so you can upgrade your tribe.
The power of female friendship cannot be overstated. In a world where we are more connected but less authentically engaged, you need a core group of friends to call your own. We are strongest together. No one gets anywhere by themselves. You have to surround yourself with the best.
Here's what you should look for in your girl tribe:
Accountability. Decide what you want, check. Create a plan, check. Set specific goals, check. Taking action... yeah about that. Action, the most important part of any success formula is the place we fail on our own. If you don't build in accountability in your life, you are doomed. That is unless you are some super women. If you are not super woman, and I am making an assumption here, then you need people in your life that will call you on your shit. You need people that will not allow you to be mediocre. If you don't have a coach, your friends are the very next best thing. They also offer a perspective that a coach cannot in that they know you best.
Emotional Support. You need to be able to turn on some Anita Baker, pour a glass of wine and have a bitch session. And you don't need to be judged for it. You need to let out a good cry with a group of ladies that understand and are emphatic to your situation.
Recreation. Duh! Who doesn't love a girls trip, brunch, or a night out with the girls. Having women in your life who could ruin your reputation with one good, "remember that time..." story, is life. Creating some wild, crazy and spontaneous memories is what life is all about and you need good friends along for the ride.
Encouragement. You want to be around a group of women that make it okay for you to be just who you are. No strings attached, just you. You need women that are going to pump you up and tell you, "girl you are the shit!" Friends that will message you at midnight just to tell you how awesome you are and to keep pushing. Those types of friends are the best.
Motivation & Inspiration. Your tribe should inspire you to be your best self. Period. There should something about your tribe that makes you excited for them. They should inspire you and you should be doing the same. There is no competition here. There is enough to go around and you should be leaping when anyone in your group gets a win.
Your tribe is going to reflect your vibe. Begin with you. Ensure the thoughts that you think and the words that you speak are giving you life. Make sure your energy reflects the type of people you want to engage with. Birds of a feather flock together. Soar with eagles don't peck around with pigeons!