" You doing good right now, so don't quit" - DJ Khaled & Calvin Harris
"One of the most common causes of failure, is the habit of quitting" - Napoleon Hill
Ah the the quitting conundrum. It's so easy to say eff it and move on. Oh I know that space. The space where everything seems impossible and out of reach. The space where effort feels like it is met with certain and permanent defeat. I can't lie, that is a crappy space. The bad news, it's all mental. The good news, it's all mental. If you can win the mental game, you can win the war. Wanting to give up begins with the thought that you cannot do what you want to do. And that is complete and total bullshit. Don't let that thought ever gain ground in your mind. When you start to feel like you can't, change the thought immediately. If not, you will start to believe that you cannot achieve your dream and you will quit. Decide now and early that anything & everything is possible. And I do mean anything. This is hard to accept depending on your past beliefs and experiences. But this thought is the key to all the doors of life. And I mean all the doors. You will not move forward in any area if you don't first believe everything is possible. Once you settle that, ask yourself, what do I want? Simple question, but 9 times out of 10, when I ask my ladies this, they look at me like I am speaking Chinese. Think about where you feel like giving up, your career, your finances, your marriage, a relationship, health, etc. Pause for a moment and answer this question, what do you want? OK. Now what came up? How specific was it? Are you crystal clear on what you want? Can you explain in full detail how you want to show up in that particular area? If you can, awesome, you are on your way to meeting your goals. If you can't, there is a high chance you will quit just shy of success.
Let's lay out a few steps to keep you from quitting.
You have to get clear about what it is you want. If you are not clear on what you want, you will definitely quit when times get tough. Clarity is the force that can pull you forward when you want to throw in the towel. And I am talking specifics here. If you want to join the circus, cool, what does your costume look like and what cities are you setting up the big top? Like for real, it's all pie in the sky until you get down in the details. Decide and commit to the dream. Visualize how you will feel, what it looks like, what are you wearing, who do you see? Get specific.
Turn your temporary defeats into jumping boards. So what, you got your ass kicked. I know how that feels and it is not fun. Yes, they let you down. Settle in sister because it is going to happen again, and again, and again. Temporary defeats will be scattered along your journey of life. Big deal. Prepare for them. See them as jumping boards and use them to jump into the next phase. The funny thing is, opportunities are always waiting just around the corner after defeat. It's as if God is saying, how bad do you want it? Are you committed to it? Next time you experience what looks like defeat, imagine a diving board or a trampoline. Jump right on top of that defeat and into your next best step.
Dig in and hustle, hard. Now I like the term hustle but don't get it confused with struggle. When I say hustle I mean waking up everyday and taking intentional consistent action in the direction you are trying to go. That's it. No fireworks, no big band, no big celebrations needed. Just move. That action may be big and it may be small. If you want to write a book, that may look like you setting aside 15 minutes to write, everyday. No judgement, just write. For me, I am on a wellness journey. So even when that scale doesn't move, I still get my ass up and workout at 5 am. I still have breakfast. I still get my vegetables in no matter what. I am still at my desk drinking water. I am not distracted by the lack of progress. Hustle until something happens (H.U.S.H).
Whatever you do, don't give up. Not now. Give yourself time to let the magic happen. No one, not even Oprah was a success over night. She worked her ass off and faced defeat many times. (Let's go ahead and get this out the way... Oprah is life! I absolutely love her story and how she has built her empire. She is my God mother in my head!) Find someone you are inspired by and let their story carry you through your tough times. Look back into your own life and recall the times you thought you couldn't do it or you thought this is it and just like that, when you least expected it, a life line. I like to call those God winks.
Don't quit girl!